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Trust the silence

I am Ando Bryan, currently studying Accounting and Administration, I share with you lessons that I have learned from my experiences.

When I was younger, I was rather lonely and finally being able to belong to a group of friends was one of my greatest pride. Needless to deny that I enjoyed myself in this group for a while, a lot of laughs, smiles and delusions shared, for once I finally felt “normal” and included in something.

Only, some c hose bothered me without really giving it importance at the beginning. I felt more fear than excitement or joy when I went to meet them, later I understood that it was actually the fear of mockery, judgment or just my own fear of not being up to the job. . Probably because apart from the good times, and then the bad times come, there was hardly anyone left and I tolerated what I wouldn’t do to myself and what I wouldn’t do to myself. others.

What really clicked was when I felt something break from the inside: I tried to put up barriers but each time I broke them for fear of rejection. And nothing to do, I had already taught them that I would stay no matter how they treated me, so some didn’t really take it seriously and others started to pull away or spoke badly to me. It took a long time for me to let go of my toxic relationship with this group. Indeed, we often speak of toxic relationship in couple but it also exists in friendships. It was thanks to the confinement and being left alone that really allowed me to start seeing things as they were and not as I wanted them to be. Gradually I began to forgive and heal them.

Silence reveals to us what excessively strong emotions, daily rush and social oppression prevent us from seeing. Take time for yourself, not just to take care of yourself, but also to listen to yourself. Go beyond what you want you to be and search deep within yourself for what you really want to be, which makes you happy and at peace. Dare to confess to yourself what you dare not confess to others. You deserve to be happy, at peace and appreciated, it can be scary but so worth it.

Take the time to build yourself, to build your values ​​and principles, to love yourself and to choose for yourself the path you want to follow. Life will send you people who will accompany you for a while or maybe your whole life, and you will feel that you really want to be with these people and not out of obligation. Don’t be afraid to leave places where you are not respected, to set your limits and to leave certain relationships for your inner peace. Whether alone or accompanied, the important thing is above all that we feel loved and accepted as we are.

“You don’t lose real friends, real opportunities or real relationships when you start standing up for yourself and setting clear boundaries. You lose abusers, manipulators, narcissists, control freaks, attention seekers and mental-health destroyers »Steven Barlett

Ando Bryan

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