My closest friend’s name is Fear. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. I know her well but she knows me even better than I know myself. During my childhood, she watched over me, protected me and kept me from getting hurt in dangerous adventures. Every time I was in a risky situation, she would send me a message; a weird feeling in my belly and a whisper in my ear to step back or hide. One time I broke a glass of water and Fear told me to hide it because if I did not, Mom would be mad. So, I did.
From a young age and until now, Fear tells me what to do, so people will not get mad or be disappointed in me. My friend Fear keeps me from getting hurt. She is the reason I waited years before learning how to ride a bike and how to ice skate. Fear told me “You could break a bone!”. I did not want to go to the hospital or worry my parents so I listened to her. It is also due to her advice that I easily gave up on challenging tasks and projects. Fear told me other people would laugh at me if I slipped up and made mistakes. I did not want other people to think badly of me, so I listened to her.
Today, she often tells me that I’ll have an accident if I drive alone and that I’ll burn the house down when I cook. Since she has known me for so long and knows more about my shortcomings than anyone else, I listen to her.
Fear has always been a good friend of mine, you might even say my dearest friend, but our relationship changed when I met Love, Confidence and Happiness. When I started to hang out with the three of them, we really bonded and we did great things together. They taught me how to help and how to be there for others instead of being scared of people and their opinions about me. They (Love, Confidence, and Happiness) taught me how to be bold and showed me what I am capable of. I never knew those things about myself before, usually Fear tells me to quit when I try new things. Love, Confidence and Happiness were kind, joyful and inspiring.
One day, Love wanted me to meet the person who taught them all they were: Peace. I only met Peace a couple of times because once I told Fear about her, she forbade me from ever seeing the four of them again. Fear and I argued; she told me that Love, Confidence, Happiness, and Peace were bad, but I knew they were good. She told me that if I continued to see them, especially Peace, I would forget about her. Sometimes, I feel like Fear doesn’t want me to believe that I deserve good things. But I know she only cares for me. Fear is my best friend, and I did not want to lose her nor myself, so instead I lost the other four: Love, Confidence, Happiness and Peace.
Erinah Rakotosata-M.
Bio
Erinah is a college student in Montreal, Canada. She is currently studying diagnostic imaging and she aspires to help others by working in the healthcare field. She is always ready to escape reality with one of her books or a movie. Erinah fully supports Omena’s amazing work and mission to end the toxic cycle of emotional abuse.
