I was talking about the subjectivity of the experience when faced with any form of bullying or emotional abuse at work. I myself was a victim. However, from the moment we recognize that we are living a situation that repeats itself and deteriorates over the days, which begins to affect our mental health, our balance and performance at work; there is no longer the slightest doubt, you are also a victim!
Change my job you would say! But for me it is a radical solution because it was too early to give up and undo all the efforts I had put in to get to where I was.
I needed a less drastic solution. My approach was therefore to turn to the Omena community because in the face of the harshest verbal attacks, I needed objective views on my situation and moral support. [Here again I would like to advise you on the importance of being in a “safe space” in order to be able to confide in you. Before spreading out any part of your life, first make sure that these people are not going to be “judgmental” at the risk of hurting you even more or worse, taking advantage of your situation. As in all other difficult times in your life, surround yourself with the right people!]
Thanks to this approach, I did not close in on myself. So I built what I will call “my micro-climate of moral and emotional security” around my workspace. I was looking for a way to protect myself at my level to begin with.
My principle was to protect myself as much as possible from attacks since I already knew from experience at this level: where, how, when and by whom the attacks are likely to come. I have found it a great idea to limit contact with the most aggressive people, as I explained before, to what is strictly useful and necessary for my job. For example, I do not interfere in conversations whose only goal is to criticize each other in a negative way on the physical or on the performances, I continue to greet without making any discrimination but I do not waste my time with these people, I reinforce the positive image I have with people with whom I get along well, I am content to remain passive when my opinion is not solicited.
Despite my best efforts, I believe that this type of harassment has deeper psychological consequences than what one expresses as a victim. But while in this country where there are still so many stigmatizations on mental health: where seeing a psychologist is equated with psychiatric problems in the genre “marary saina”, where the unemployment rate is already too high in terms of numbers to encourage further abandonment of post and where the establishment of psychological support for victims of moral harassment and emotional abuse is still precarious, “We, the victims will not all be able to heal the prejudices suffered”.
This is my testimony, and this is the only community where I have found comfort to date.
“The greater the inner helplessness is the need for power over others.”
-Isabelle Filliozat, The intelligence of the heart .Omenamovement